Attune, attune, attune! What is attunement?

According to Clinical Psychologist and NYT Bestselling Author of “Boundaries,” Dr. John Townsend, attunement is when loved ones just get us so well we don’t even need to explain ourselves. Attunement begins at birth with our primary caregiver and continues throughout life. However, even if the parent attunes well to their baby or toddler, maintaining that “tune” gets more difficult as a child grows into adulthood and develops into their own identity/ego state. Before my own therapy, I was ignorant to the effects of emotional neglect. Even the best parents and spouses that demonstrate attunement fall short in some capacity! The good news is  all humans are imperfect and there is no shame in addressing our/their shortcomings. Shame keeps its power when it is silenced. It can be challenging to confront but with a quality therapist, shame is embraced, addressed and then extinguished.  Only then, healing can begin.